Teachers and Parents: Give Each Other Some Grace

Let’s Give Each Other Some Grace

Last year, when my mom was in the last stage of Parkinson’s Disease and then passed away right before Christmas, my sisters and I came to an agreement. We were going to give each other some grace. We each handled the situation differently: one of us was the crier and one wasn’t, the other one sang opera at the memorial service to break up the tension. (Lord, if I die before my sister, please encourage her to sing a funny song at my memorial service as well.) We decided that we would not get angry at the other sister for being who she is because we all handle things differently.

Things Are Still Up in the Air

Right now, my school district is still deciding upon the best method for school to start, and teachers are to return on August 4th. I appreciate their willingness to decide what is best for the students, staff and parents. With that, though, comes a lot of anxiety on all parts. As of this moment, we are supposed to return 100% in-person, 5 days a week, to a building of over 1200 students. Wait, what?

As teachers we are normally spending this time planning and planning…along with restoring our energy for the upcoming year. Yet, we don’t know what to plan for right now. Do I plan for in person, hybrid learning, or starting remotely? Parents are usually planning on how to get their child back on track and off to school, but they can’t do that either. With this anxiety comes anger and frustration; you want to be heard and your needs met.

(Update: 7/26/20 – Our district has decided to use the hybrid model this year. A/B/A/B and Friday is remote. Teachers will still teach lessons all five days, but two are synchronous in the classroom, and three are asynchronous out of the classroom. Otherwise, parents have a choice to send have their kids do 100% online.)

We WILL Get Through This With a Little Grace

I’ve been teaching a long time, and I’ve been through a lot. I’ve been through having some of my past “kids” shot while at school; I’ve asked drug dealers to leave bathrooms, so my students could play at the park; I’ve experienced racial discrimination as a teacher; I’ve cried over student suicides and abuse. Heck, I have even taught over 20 kindergartners in the women’s bathroom, in the church across the street, for a month when our school flooded. I have survived all of that, and so have my students. What I haven’t been through is starting the school year during a pandemic. I have never had to have my students wear a mask, stay 6 feet apart (have you met kids?), and not be able to give them high fives or hugs when needed. (Believe it or not, teenagers still need a lot of this from teachers.) It’s the unknown that becomes scary.

Parents: Give the Teachers Some Grace

Parents: Some teachers and staff are scared to return to their “home away from home.” We aren’t scared of hard work, we aren’t scared of being flexible during these times, but we ARE scared of dying from this pandemic or giving it to our family members. I’ve heard a lot of parents say that teachers can choose to teach remotely or go back to the building. That isn’t true. My understanding is that we have to supply a medical note as to why we can’t teach in the building and then priority is given to those teachers based on how many are needed for eLearning. According to ADA, being scared to be in a building where windows don’t open and the airflow isn’t great, without the ability to social distance doesn’t fall under their guidelines to teach remotely.

Parents, I understand that your child might not have done well online or that they weren’t getting the thorough education that you feel they needed. Please understand that we were doing “crisis teaching.” We were told to make sure the students didn’t become stressed. We needed to provide less work, not give anything lower than a B, and if the work didn’t meet standards, then we left a blank in the grade book. We were told that it was okay for students to not “show up” for class anymore. We got it, and we gave our students some grace. However, that isn’t what it would look like if/when we do remote teaching this time. We will work hard to make sure your students have their needs met as best as we can, just like we do when we are in the classroom with them.

I’m torn on this issue because I WANT to be in the school with my students. They crack me up. Every. Single. Day. I miss them. I want to teach them how to have more confidence in themselves by being better public speakers, but I don’t want to do it until it is safe according to science.

Parents, you might want to check out my other blog post about how to help your children with any anxiety that they might have about returning to school: “10 Tips to Help Your Child Be Less Anxious About Returning to School.”

Teachers: Give the Parents Some Grace

Teachers: Parents are scared about making the right decision for their kids. I can’t even imagine what that feels like right now.

Keep in mind that the parent’s lives have become more difficult as well. Some don’t know what to do if their kids aren’t in school five days a week, and some are scared about choosing eLearning for their kids and having them miss out on the school experience.

One of my favorite times during “crisis teaching” was the one-on-one Google Meets that I did with parents. I started 4th quarter with two brand new sixth grade classes that I had never met before, since I am an electives teacher. I offered up some times that parents could meet with just me. They shared personal stories about their child that they would have never told me in front of the rest of the parents at Back to School Night. They were scared for their children as well.

What Can Each of Us Do?

Parents: Please show some grace, and when we do return to the building, ask us how you can help. We want what is best for your kids, and so do you. It might come in the form of cleaning supplies, or air filters, or extra masks, or a gift card to Starbucks to start our day. 🙂 Please practice with your kids about how to wear a mask correctly, and have them get used to wearing one before we do return to the building. (I have to practice this one myself.)

Teachers: Please show some grace, and if we start out remotely, ask parents how we can help their child to become more successful this time. What worked for their child last spring and what didn’t? Let’s ask their kids too! If we are in the building, know that parents will be worried about their kids and everyone around them. Be sure to communicate what you are doing for their children, especially when it comes to their social/emotional learning.

Just Add a Little Sugar

I’d like to imagine a time when the whole country comes together like we did in the spring. This is probably the reason that my sister likes to call me Mary Poppins. If we just add a little sugar, then everything will be okay. However, it will take every single one of us to make this happen. Give each other grace. Stop with the arguing, and figure out a plan that will be best for everyone involved, as long as it’s safe to do so.