Spelling Matters
Teaching Tip: Talk to Your Students About Friendships
A Student Asked: ”Is it okay to only have one or two friends?”
The other day, I received an email from a past student. She had moved up to 7th grade this year, and she was worried that she only had one or two friends. As everyone knows, friendships during your middle school years are one of the most difficult to navigate. Do I have enough friends? How can I get more? Do people think I’m cool? How do I get to hang out with THEM?
I asked her to tell me what she meant by “friends.” Did she mean the people she could text with after school? Someone to call on the weekend to hang out? Or just someone to eat lunch with at school or talk to in class? 
Why Don’t We Talk About Friendships in Class?
Becoming adept at social relationships is half of the “fun” of middle school. When you have accomplished this, sometimes the rest becomes easy. But this is also a time when you are constantly questioning yourself. 
So, why aren’t we talking about what defines a friend and how to cultivate these relationships, if it is such an important part of growing up? Let’s not leave kids hanging and constantly worrying whether only having one or two friends is okay. 
Levels of Friendships Activity
I learned this activity from one of my friends. I believe it originated with Terry Bradley, a GT guru. It doesn’t take any prep (of course, my favorite part), but it’s a great way to get the conversation started.
- Give your students a blank sheet of paper and show them how to draw 5 concentric circles on it. You could prepare this for them ahead of time, if they are younger, or you could draw it on the board to show them what you are looking for.
- Explain that people have different levels of friendship throughout their lives, and their friends will probably change throughout the different stages of the lives.
- In the smallest circle, have them write their name.
- In this next size circle, tell them this is the “intimate circle.” If you teach middle school, you will hear giggles. You can do this with elementary kids too. Tell them that these are the people closest to you. You express love, hurt, sadness or whatever else is going on with you. This is where you have the highest level of trust. These relationships have developed over time. Have them write in the names of these people. They could even be family members.
- In the third largest circle, these are your “friends.” These are the people you call your friends and still share your feelings. You seek out advice from them and you enjoy being with them. These relationships could be newer and not as intense. Have them list these people.
- In the fourth largest circle, these are your “casual friends.” You give these people a sense of who you are by revealing your opinions. It’s where trust begins. You talk about schoolwork or your outside activities and share your feelings about them. You wouldn’t necessarily hang out with them every weekend, but you are excited to see them at school/church/sports/club, etc. Have them list these people.
- In the largest circle, these are your “acquaintances.” The conversations with these people are more about facts. You share safe, non-threatening, non-personal information. “I hope we have a snow day.” “Did you study for the test?” Have them list these people.
Now What? Have a Discussion:
If you want to have them share with a neighbor first you can. However, this could be embarrassing for some students, so I didn’t start there. I just started by asking questions and calling on those that wanted to share. Here are some possible questions:
- What did you learn about yourself in this activity?
- Were there any surprises?
- Is it important to have relationships at all 4 levels?
- Why are there usually fewer people in the inner circles?
- From your list, are there any people you would like to see move further in? (Use arrows by their names to point inward toward you.)
- Are there any you think should move farther out? (Use arrows by their names to point out away from you.)
- Do you think relationships look differently for people your age than for adults?
So, Is it Okay to Have Just One or Two Friends?
The answer is a resounding “yes,” if they fall in your smaller circles. My worry would be for the child that can’t fill out the smaller circles. Here is a tip: as a teacher, make yourself more aware of this child. Can you pair them up with someone that has similar interests or capabilities? Can you recommend clubs or groups where they can make more friends? Can you put them in more of a leadership role in class?
Did you know that when teachers exhibit positive feelings about a student, others will probably feel the same in your class? Can you have conversations with this child about how to cultivate friendships? Heck, it’s not easy as an adult to do this and why so many books are written about it. JUST DON’T IGNORE IT. This child needs you.
For Parents of Gifted Kids:
If you are the parent of a gifted child, you know that your child may struggle with cultivating friendships. Since your child may be more advanced in their intellectual development, they may struggle relating to others their same age. Here is an article that you might find helpful from the Davidson Institute: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q2clgZXsGfEF3DizIX20WTbe4GHGtAURETmgBrNB4ew/edit?usp=sharing
First Day of School Ice-Breaker: Ask Me Anything
What is an easy ice-breaker for your first day of school?
Do you want a no-prep, easy activity to engage your students on the first day of school? Seriously, this takes no preparation at all, which is why I loved starting the school year this way.
Whenever I went into a new class as a student, I would always have a million questions going on in my mind. Most of them weren’t about the actual class. I wondered why something in particular was hanging on the wall. I wondered if the teacher loved dogs as much as I do. I wondered if the teacher was married. I wondered if the teacher had a good sense of humor. I wondered if this was my assigned seat. I wondered the cute boy’s name sitting next to me. 🙂
However, most of my teachers wouldn’t talk about this stuff, and I left class with just as many questions as I had when I entered. This is why I love this activity.
Ask Me Anything: The Teacher
After attendance, I would sit on a tall stool in front of the classroom, and tell the students that in a moment, I am going to set a timer for five minutes. I told them that they needed to think of at least one question that they wanted to know the answer. Do they see something in the classroom that they wonder about? Do they have a question about the class and what it involves? Do they have a question about me personally? (I also told them that I can refuse to answer any question.).
I teach middle school, so they always asked me my social security number and address. If they asked me age, I told them I was 80, and then said, “Don’t I look great for my age?” Of course, you would find out the instant charmer who would reply that they thought I was only 25. Then I would start the timer and call on people. If there weren’t a lot of questions, I gave them the challenge that I was looking for the most creative person in class. The hands instantly went up, but then I had to be prepared for some weird questions.
Ask Me Anything: The Students
Next, the students are going to do the same activity with each other. My students already sit at tables, but if yours don’t, put them into groups of four. I have them figure out who is the oldest in the group, or whatever question you want to use. Have that person raise their hand. This is a good way to see when each table is ready.
Tell them that as a group, they are going to ask the person with their hand raised any question that they want for one minute (or two minutes if you have enough time). Obviously, that person can refuse to answer a question. I also tell them not to refuse every question, or the people at their table will think they are lame. I role-play this with one table because I also want them to see it isn’t about talking about yourself, if you are the one asking questions. As a teacher, you need to stress that the whole table should ask questions to only the person answering the questions.
Before You Begin
Before you begin, you might want to brainstorm possible questions. I also put up a list of possible questions on the whiteboard, in case they can’t think of any. I usually use my list of attendance questions. I wrote about my attendance questions here: https://judiholst.com/teaching-tip-build-your-culture-and-climate-with-attendance-questions/. You can find a link to the questions at the bottom of the blog post. If you don’t to use the overhead, you could give them examples such as:
- What job would you like to have when you turn 16?
- What. is the best thing that happened to you last week?
- What is your favorite thing in your bedroom?
- Who do you wish was in this class, but isn’t?
After Each Student Goes
Then I start the timer for 1-2 minutes, and when the timer stops, I call on a student from each table. They have to tell me who they interviewed and one thing they learned about them. Yes, I make them say the student’s name because it’s important to learn each other’s names as quickly as possible. Then you tell them that the next person to go is sitting clockwise of the last person answering the questions and you start over.
Wrap It Up at the End of Class
At the end of class, you could wrap up this activity by calling on a student and telling them to raise their hand. I use my attendance sheet, since I don’t know their names yet. “Mary Kay, raise your hand. Okay, who can tell me one thing they learned about Mary Kay?” I try to call on people that are not sitting at Mary Kay’s table.
The “Why”
It’s important for students to feel comfortable as quickly as possible in your room. There is time to go over the rules and syllabus another day. This stress-free ice-breaker doesn’t require students to walk around the room and talk to a bunch of people that they don’t know. My introverted side cringes when I have to do this on the first day of anything. Many students have said that they became friends with another person in my class just from this very first activity. As a bonus, you don’t even have to prepare any materials!
If you would like to read about more first day activities, you can find my blog post here: https://judiholst.com/?s=first+day
5 Tips for Surviving Week One as a (New) Teacher
Tip #1: Find Yourself a Mentor
It’s been a “minute” since I have written on my blog. It’s funny how my goal last year was to write on my blog each day or at least once a week. Such a dreamer! So what brings me back? This week, I spoke with one of my friends, a couple of times, who is a brand new teacher to middle school. It reminded me that although the new school year is exciting, it also isn’t easy for new teachers. Sometimes, as veterans, we forget all of those unanswered questions that come up daily for new teachers. So my first piece of advice is to find your “person” that you can talk to without judgement. Don’t hesitate to ask those burning questions that will help you to sleep better at night. Everyone needs a mentor!
Tip #2: Design Your Discipline
I wrote about discipline on my blog awhile ago with some tips that might be helpful, so I won’t go into a lot of detail. You can find it here: https://judiholst.com/5-tips-on-designing-your-discipline/. I remember the days when kids would come in and sit down silently on the first day of school. It was eerie and freaked me out! If you teach secondary school, you know that this isn’t the case. But have heart. You see in the secondary grades, I picture some of my students like peacocks. They walk in, strut their feathers, watch to see who is paying attention, and then establish their dominance. It almost makes me giggle to watch them.
Here’s the thing, though. Watch for these kids. Get them on your side EARLY! Give them things to do for you. Put them in charge. Have them hand out things for you. If you pass something out that will require a trash can later, send that student around to collect the trash. We BOTH know that students aren’t going to get up and throw it away themselves. The peacocks will be the ones, later in the year, that have your back and the other kids will listen to them. Some people may see it as rewarding their behavior, I see it as creating an ally.
Tip #3: Think Positive Intent on Emails From Parents
It’s the first day, and you already get an email from a parent. Your heart starts beating quickly, and you already have thoughts of being fired. You can already picture the parent banging on your principal’s door with their complaint. You are absolutely positive it isn’t an email about how much the child loves your class. Heck, the child hasn’t even gone home yet.
Here is what I want you to do when you read that email. Read the email in the voice of Mary Poppins. Seriously, try it! Don’t read in it in our normal sarcastic “here is the email that talks about everything I’ve done wrong.” Instead, read it in a cheery voice. You see, most parents have positive intent when writing the email. They just have a question that they want answered. Although some people aren’t very good at expressing their thoughts in a positive way, and it hurts your soul, keep in mind that they just want what is best for their child. It usually doesn’t have anything to do with you personally.
Tip #4: Don’t Apologize
While we are on the subject of emails, here is a rule that I have learned along the way. Don’t apologize in your email response, unless you truly did something wrong. It took you hours, or even a day, to get back to the parent? Don’t apologize. Teachers are busy people. You had to speak to the child outside of the room because of behavior? Don’t apologize. I have watched a lot of videos on how to be a leader in business, and this was a tip that was mentioned frequently. Now if you messed up and you need to own it, that is a different story. You are part of a team when it comes to teaching. You, the parent, and the child make up that team. Respond in that manner…as a teammate.
Tip #5: Plan for Back-To-School Night
In our school, Back-to-School Night happens the second week of school. You feel just like you are getting your groove, and then you have to put in TWO 12-13 hour days. It comes up on you quickly. This was always my least favorite day and made me want to crawl out the window. The parents are lovely, it isn’t about that. It just put me out of my comfort zone.
So what do you do for this night? First of all, start taking some pictures of the students in your class now! If you are doing a slideshow for that night, parents always like to see real photos, especially if their child is in the photo. Now think about what you would want to know that night. At our school, the parents follow their child’s schedule and switch classes every 8-10 minutes. So, we have to give the same spiel 6 times, and fast!
Here is what I would want to know: What does a typical class period (or day – for elementary) look like for my child? If I was a fly on the wall, what would I see them doing? As I walk through a typical class period with the parents, this also gives me time to tell them the “why” of what I am doing each day. Why did I start with an attendance question? Why did I play a quick warm-up game to practice a skill? Why did I do a short mini lesson? Why won’t they have a content grade right away because of the pre-assessment? Why don’t I know which speeches the kids were giving each semester? (This was because the students voted on their projects each semester.). It’s a win-win situation for me and the parents. I’m not sure they cared that I went to San Diego State or played softball in high school. That can go on my website for the school. Keep it more “student-oriented” and less about you.
Teacher Hot Line:
When I think about how much a new teacher has to learn, I almost think I should create a teacher hotline. But teachers are broke, so I don’t see anyone paying me for my advice, and having that as a career. Ha. That being said, if you have things that you wonder about as a new teacher, feel free to send me your questions, and I will use them for future blog posts.
Final Extra Credit Tip:
Have faith in yourself! You’ve got this. Good luck this year. Your students are lucky to be in your class.
Brain Break Game: “10 Second Objects”
“Are you sure?” I asked my principal. “It’s about to get loud.” He had planned a meeting in the library, which is right outside my classroom door, for the principals in our district. He told me to not worry about it and to do what I always do. “Okayyyyyyy,” I replied as I walked away, happily knowing that my principal “gets it.” Now, let’s hope the other principals and the director of our feeder understood that kids need to move and talk during a brain break.
Kids Need to Move!
I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time sitting still for longer than twenty minutes, let alone a whole class period. Maybe that’s why professional development days are a little torturous for me, and long block periods can be excruciating for some students. With this in mind, I always make sure that my students are changing up activities or are moving at least every 15 – 20 minutes. This is why “10 Second Objects” is one of my favorite brain breaks. Beware, though, it can get loud!
If you have been reading my blog for some time, you know that I like activities that don’t take a lot of preparation on my part. I like to spend time planning my lessons (yes, I think that’s fun), but I don’t like to make photocopies, cut things out, etc. It’s why I didn’t last long as an elementary school teacher. Besides, my mother told me that my kindergarten teacher said that I could never learn to hold the scissors correctly for cutting. I’ve been traumatized ever since!
How to Play “10 Second Objects” Brain Break
Ten seconds is all it took for me to explain the game to the students. This is why it makes a great brain break, and it is good for any grade level!
- Have the students get into groups of 3 or four. They may have to move desks/tables to give them enough space to move around. Check to make sure that everyone is in a group. There are always a few wandering around aimlessly. Just tell them which group to join; it’s easier for them at times.
- Explain that you are going to tell them an object, and their group needs to form that object by the time you count down from ten. Everyone must participate in their group and somehow look connected.
- Then tell them that they are working on creativity, actions, and cooperation today.
- They must “freeze” when you say freeze, after counting down. If they move or make a noise after you say “freeze,” their group is disqualified for that round.
- When you say “Go,” if they object moves or makes noise, then that is that the time to do it.
- Next, look around the room and find the most connected, creative group. Then declare a winner for that round. Don’t keep score, each round is new. You should explain why each group won, so they get an idea of what you are looking for.
I love to look around and see even my shy students get into this activity. It is their smiles and laughter that make this one of my favorite brain breaks.
Here Are a Couple of Examples:
Fireworks display:
Of course, they had to do a pirate ship in my pirate-themed classroom.
Back to the Principals
At one point, the director of our feeder area poked his head in the door, in the middle of his presentation. I thought, “Oh no, I’m busted.” I apologized later, and he said, “It sounded so fun in there. I just wanted to see what everyone was up to.” So, yes, he understood it too. Everyone needs to move and be creative.
Other Brain Break Games:
If you would like to find some other fun brain break games, you can find them on my website: Here are two of my favorite ones:
What are some of your favorite brain break games?
Why Spelling Matters…Unless?
Brain Break/Warm up: Snake Oil Competition
Do you ever wonder how to fill those last ten minutes of class? Do you need an activity to give your students a break in between lessons? Do you wish students would work on being more creative and being able to think more quickly? The Snake Oil Competition might just be your answer. I would recommend this game for 4th grade and up.
My favorite part of this game as always? You guessed it…there is no preparation on your part. Everything is set up for you on this website: https://www.snakeoilgame.com/sobsedu.
Object of game:
The object of the competition is to create crazy products by combining two of the cards listed into one product. The customer will choose which product they like the best and that seller wins the game.
How to play the game:
- Before you begin, explain how “snake oil” played an important part of history. Here is a good video to show in order to give them some background. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaDsOJATX3A
- Put a chair in the middle of your room and 4 chairs up front. I have a stage, so my chairs go to the right of the stage.
- One student is the customer, and they sit on the chair in the middle of the room.
- Choose four students to be the “hagglers” or salespeople and they sit on the four chairs up front.
- Show the first list of cards. The customer must decide which “type” of customer they will be. For the first round, the customer can choose between being a “pirate” or “the tooth fairy.”
- The first haggler is shown the first set of six cards. I project this to the front of the room. They need to think about who the customer is and what type of problems this person might have. Then they combine two of the six cards to create a new product to solve the problem.
- I perform the first one to show them what I want them to do. This part is very important and will improve your students presentations, if you do.
- I tell the students that they have to talk for at least 30 seconds, and then they can give the customer up to 30 seconds to ask questions about the product. This is a good life skill and encourages the students to think quickly and creatively.
- Once everyone has performed in that first group, the customer announces the winner and why they chose that product.
Example of the cards. This is from the cards in Round 3 on the website:
Student Examples:
Here are two student examples where they were Santa Claus.
How to use in your class:
Kids in grades 4 and up are going to love this game. If you want to relate it to your content area, you could create your own cards with vocabulary words from your content. If you teach social studies, the customers could be certain people from history. What products would a past president want? A dictator? If you teach science, this is a no-brainer. You could play this as is. If you teach English, the customer could be a character from a novel. If you teach math, they could be different math terms.
Either way, this is a fun activity to get kids thinking creatively and quickly. It would definitely make a good brain break or warm up for your students.
It Was Just One of Those Days as a Teacher!
Have you ever had one of those days where you end your day with “What just happened?” This is one of those blog posts that I wanted to write, just to laugh about it later when I’m old(er).
My morning started out with a showdown between me, a mama deer, and a fawn. As I was driving to work, running late of course, I came across these two deer, and no matter how many times I honked at them, they were NOT budging. Yes, they were even there long enough for me to grab my phone out of my purse to take a really blurry picture. Did I mention I was running late? But they were incredibly beautiful.
Mismatch Day
It was also Mismatch Day during Spirit Week at our school. Or as my 6th graders say it, “Mitch Match Day or Mix Match Day.” Now, you have to understand that only a certain amount of kids actually dress up at our school, but I feel the pressure to do so because hey, I have school spirit. The worst part, though, is the dreaded walk into the building. At our school, you have to cross in front of the cars coming into the parking lot dressed like an idiot. I do a silent prayer each time, hoping that I don’t have the days mixed up.
You know that half of the parents don’t even know that it’s a dress-up day. I wore my hair half up, half down; different earrings; tops that don’t match; one pant leg up, one down; different colored socks and two different colored shoes. In my mind, I can hear the parents thinking, Yes, it’s definitely time for that Ms. Holst to retire.
Here’s the worst part. Once I was safely inside the building and breathing a sigh of relief that it was actually the right day, I realized that I forgot my phone in the car! Yup, so not only did I have to cross the street in front of the parents once, I had to do it two more times to get my phone. Humiliation endured! Let’s just leave this picture upside down, since that is how I felt all day.
I’ve Been Called A Lot of Things But…
This is why students should proofread their emails.
Moving Tape
When my students give presentations, I ask them to “dress for success.” I love seeing them look nice at least a couple days each quarter. It reminds them that speakers should always look nicer than their audience, in order to build reliability for their content. One of my cutie 6th grade boys walked in and was holding up his pants. When I asked him what’s going on, he showed me that his belt broke, but his pants are too big. Man, it’s hard to not die laughing some days!
That was definitely a dilemma for this boy, especially when he is one of the few boys in a class full of girls this class period. As I searched my brain, I remembered that I had some moving tape in a drawer. I was taught that duct tape is the cure for anything, but this would have to do. Luckily, he was creative and figured out a way to wrap the tape through the belt loops, along with his belt. I will have to keep this magical idea in my mind for future reference.
Teaching is NEVER Boring
Needless to say, a day in the life of a teacher is never boring. I dealt with a crying student because another teacher hurt his feelings, a student that had a panic attack, a student that broke out in hives right before his speech, and four bloody noses. I’m not complaining about any of this. It’s just another day to remember. I wonder what this week will bring?
No-Prep, No-Tech Review Game: The Clapper Talk Show
Are you looking for a no-prep, no-tech way to review material with your students? Try the “Clapper Talk Show” activity. I don’t know what it is about talk shows, but students love to pretend they are guests on a talk show. As a teacher, I love anything that doesn’t take time to prepare or utilizes new technology for the students to learn. This improv game will give your students a chance to be “on stage,” review any material that you just learned, and create some laughs at the same time.
Getting Started
Choose two or three volunteers to come sit in the chairs set up at the front of the room. Tell them that they will be experts on your talk show, and you will let them know what they are experts in once the show starts.
Now, you will need to get into this one to make it work. Put on your best game show host voice and you can’t do this quietly. “Helllllooooo ladies and gentleman. Welcome to the Holsterama Talk Show. Today, we have a very special show planned for you. Now you may not recognize my guests right off, but once I tell you who they are and what they do, you will be astounded. Let’s first welcome Steve (I use the student’s real name). He is the real body-double for Channing Tatum. (Give time for applause.) Next, we have Alisha who is the body-double in magazine shoots for Jennifer Aniston. Lastly, we have Josh who is the stunt-double for Matt Damon in the Jason Bourne movies. Surprising? Yes, I know. So, Steve, we will start with you. Tell me, how did you get started as a body-double?” Using an type of career will work. See below if you want to see how to use this in the different content areas.
At this point, the student starts answering the question. When he hears me clap once, he stops, even if it’s mid-sentence, and the next student continues the conversation. The person has to keep talking until they hear me clap once. To keep this going, you throw in a new question every now and then. Then I ask they audience if they have any questions for the guests. This is when I teach them about open-ended questions. When you decide to stop, have the students “tap” in a new student to take their place and start a new game show. I also “tap” in a student to take my place as the game show host, and they get to make up their own show.
Have them review in small groups too!
If you don’t have time to bring students to the front of the room, have them do this in small groups at the same time. One person would be the talk show host/clapper, and the rest of the group are the talk show guests. Have them change roles after a certain amount of time. My video shows you what this can look like in the classroom.
But how do I use this in my content area for review?
Tip: This can be done with any subject area. Did you just teach about the presidents? Have each student be a different president. Did you just read a whole novel together? Have the guests be different characters. Did they work in lit circle groups? Do this in small groups like my video. Did you just teach about cell division? Have a student be meiosis and another student be mitosis. You teach math? Have them be the people represented in a math problem or have them become different math symbols. It’s a fun way to review what they have learned.
So fun! How can I do more of these?
If you are interested in learning about another talk show idea to use in your class, check out my other post about the talk show, “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” When you mix in fun, the chance to improv, and some laughter, the students will WANT to review the material with you.
Brain Break/Game Idea: Snap, Clap, Face, Steal!
This week, I learned about a brain break/game called, “Snap, Boom, Snatch.” However, there are just some words you don’t use in middle school (check your urban dictionary), so I changed the title and the movements. It is now called, “Snap, Clap, Face, Steal.”
This is a great game if you have an extra 5-10 minutes of class. I used it as a listening activity, and it filled the last ten minutes of class when we finished our speeches.
Here are the steps:
- Have the students get in partners. I usually tell them, “Put your hand in the air, like you just don’t care, and high five a partner.” If they don’t have a partner, they need to find someone with their hand still in the air. They need to sit on the floor facing each other, and they need one pen or pencil between the two of them. When I saw a partner group was ready, I gave them a scratch piece of paper to keep score.
- Tell them the directions. When I say “clap,” they clap once. When I say “snap,” they snap once. If I say, “face,” they make a funny face at each other. When I say, “steal,” the first person to steal the pen/pencil that is place between them earns a point.
- If they do the wrong motion (person steals the pen instead of snapping), they lose a point. I also learned that it’s helpful to have the pair decide ahead of time where they want to keep their hands each time to keep it fair (on knees, on head, behind back).
- Then you just starting naming actions in any order that you want. The person with most points wins!
Here are two examples. The first one is a 7th/8th grade class. The second one is a 6th grade class.
Your students will enjoy this little brain break/game from the regular routine. We did trying using “stand” as one of the options, but that just didn’t go well. Can you think of any more actions that would be fun to include
